Posts Tagged ‘Blogging’

I’ve been thinking about this post for awhile. Not for any reason except I say these words to myself often. I realized I hear them all the time, too, but never stopped to really think about what they mean. As a writer, that’s a horrible state to be in. Not thinking about the meaning of words. It’s akin to walking naked into a coffee shop, ordering a hot latte, then proceeding to pour it all over yourself. You realize first that you’re naked, second that you’re in a coffee shop with lots of other folks, and third, it hurts.

It hurts more than normal.

Here are the words in a sentence, then I’ll break down what they mean to me in three #Blogs

Here it is –

I would, if I could and I should, but I won’t.

Would. Could. Should.

This third word – Should

It’s taken me longer to write this final post than I anticipated.  I learned something about myself in these past few weeks. Every time I started writing this post, my inner critic took over.

It said things like, “Who are you to think you’re an expert? You’re a ranch raised, nobody Okie with delusions of knowledge.  You’re a peddler of illusion. You should go back to the ranch, little broomstick cowgirl.”

“Do you really think people care what you say? You don’t have a degree in psychology.  What makes you think you can speak on the subject of fears, phobias, and angst?”

But the best one was this, “You should be doing something productive.  You should be working at Walmart as a greeter because this writer thing is too big for you.  You should just quit.”

That’s right.  I ‘should’ on myself.  I was covered in the brown, slimy fecal word, should.  The damned stuff got in my eyes, my ears, up my nose, and in my mouth.  I’m honestly showing you how it feels to believe the shoulds.  The words I tell myself so I don’t do the work that makes me happy.

Isn’t that strange?  Work that makes me happy is the work I shy away from.

Actually, when you struggle with self esteem, I believe this is what happens.  I believe the words I’ve typed above go through many people’s mind.  But that’s not why I wrote them out.  I wrote them out, so I can see what is holding me back.

Shining the light into the darkness, so to speak.  This final post is about the word, Should.

I use it constantly.

If I look at its use in my own life, I see that I stop myself from doing the things that are sometimes painful to start.

I say, “I should be working at Walmart as a greeter, that’s a much more noble profession than writing because it brings in a steady paycheck and regular hours.”

Here is the truth –

“I shall be doing all things writerly because it makes me happy, but beyond that, it brings peace.”

Yes, I said, peace.

I write what scares me because it brings peace to my soul.  The words spill out onto the page in fearful, sweat-dripping, can’t breath descriptions of what scares me.  My vivid imagination helped me survive a myriad of downright horrific situations, and it also helped me survive boredom, teenage angst, young adulthood, and now helps me write.

However, during the time I didn’t write, my vivid imagination was covered in a thick layer of black filthy ‘shoulds’.  That time was a dark age in my life when I reacted, hurting myself and many, many others through one addiction or another.  I sometimes thought of it as an empty slot where I could “insert current addiction here.”

A friend of mine called it “Earth School”.  My grandmother called it “The School of Hard Knocks”.

Some might say it was good fodder for my writing career.

I say, maybe, but I don’t wish it on my worst enemy.  Experience is a double edged sword. The scars aren’t always easy to bear.

So this ends the three words I never thought hurt.  Would, Could, and Should. 

Now, I’ve replaced them with new words. 

I can.  I will.  I shall.  New words for a new chapter.  I think it’s gonna be a helluva ride.

All my love to you on your journey, my friends.


What are 3 words you never thought hurt?  I would love to hear them.  Post them below and don’t forget to share this.

Some very interesting predictions.  I wonder how they will turn out.  Mark is a very astute observer and I believe it will play out much as he says.

What are your feelings about Indies quitting in 2015?

It’s obvious the self publishing trend is slowing down, what do you think of his advice about time management and getting back to basics?

I want to know!

Smashwords: 2015 Book Publishing Industry Predictions: Slow Growth Presents Challenges and Opportunities.



Mother’s Day

Incessant beeping
Curled form on an elevated hospital bed
Once beautiful dark hair
grey, listless, stuck to a sweating forehead
Cancer-ridden lungs struggle
I hold her hand, bend and whisper one last time,
“It won’t be long now, mom.
Happy Mother’s Day.
I love you.”

M. Harris, May 11, 2014

Discovering your Mission Statement

Discovering your Mission Statement

Do you remember in second grade when the teacher would ask you to draw a picture of what you want to be when you grow up? I know I’m going back to childhood on some ideas. The reason I do this is because when we were children, we had this amazing ability to see everything as reachable and attainable.

I remember drawing a picture of an alien. Because, I knew that aliens traveled the universe and saw these amazing things. An astronaut just wasn’t enough. I wanted to be able to breathe another atmosphere without a helmet. I wanted to experience things that were normal to a human with an alien’s eye.

So I drew an alien.

My teacher smiled politely and gave my work an “A”.

It was the best day of my life up till then.

Then I grew up and as a grown up, learned to put away my childish dreams and face reality.

Cue the music....

Cue the music….

Your Mission Statement, should you accept…

Your business plan mission statement is the dream that you started with when you first decided to go on this path. It is a sentence. Just one, that says exactly what you want to do with your small business life when you grow up.

Your mission is your second grade drawing. It’s why you decided to do this.

For me, it’s why I decided to write. I want to help people.

To help others by writing stories that allow people to feel when they read them.

There isn’t enough feeling in this world any more. There is plenty of passion, but no one feels.

Because it means accepting where you are in this very moment and FEELING through it.

Sometimes it hurts so much you want to curl into a tiny ball of hedgehog and disappear  under a mass of prickly spines.

Sometimes it is so good your body can’t contain the joy and you swear the rays are going to pierce out of your skin and spray the world with light.

Sometimes it is so fearful that you are sure your heart is going to burst out of your chest and run ahead of you screaming like a banshee.

Passion doesn’t encompass those kind of emotions. But Feeling does.

That’s why I chose the word for my mission.

Here is a different one for you.  The Mission Statement for my small business coaching is this:

To assist small business owners in realizing the potential of their dreams and help them achieve it by giving them the tools and inspiration to succeed.

Now it’s your turn. I’ll leave a space for you below to picture it and you can put it in the comments.

My Mission Statement is:






There is the space, fill it up with tbe drawing of what your business is going to be when it grows up. Don’t hold back and don’t be afraid. If you are worried that your statement isn’t good enough, talk to you business friend. If you have no one to bounce it off of, contact me. I’ll help in a post. No names of course. And if you want to retain my services, well, then, lets talk.

Tomorrow should see me on track with the A to Z Challenge now. The letter is “E”. Wanna guess what it’s going to be?

Have a great day/night, my friends.


When I grow up....

When I grow up….

A to Z ChallangeWhen I first made my blog II titled my blog “Don’t Open That Door….” with a sub line “See now you did it.” At the time, I thought it was a great way to convey the horror/mystery genre of writing that I am doing. Then I realized something, It also had to do with exploring my own inner self, too. I’ve been on this journey for about six months seriously and a lifetime, truthfully. The journey to accept my introversion in a world that didn’t celebrate it. From Dale Carnegie to Tony Robbins, the idea of extroversion is great and the only way to be has been around for a very long time. I never fit into it. But I was taught that there was something wrong with me if I didn’t fit in, so I better make myself fit in. Sort of like coming out, in a way, the process has been long and, at times, tortuous.

I am an introvert, but I love change. I thrive on new challenges and if I can’t get new challenges in my life, then I get bored. When I get bored, bad things happen. In the past, boredom caused me to drink and do drugs, almost to excess, but then I was given a challenge that totally consumed my time and I didn’t need those crutches anymore. More challenges came, I overcame them, excelled at them, mastered them as far as I wanted, then got bored…and well, you get the picture.

Some people called it looking for greener grass. I called it keeping me sane. Monotony drives me completely, utterly, and destructively insane.

Then came the chance to write. To explore new territories and challenge my resources and abilities every single time. Every. Single. Time.

After over 40 years of searching for that one thing that would keep me occupied and not bored, and therefore not self destructive. I’d found it and at the same time, I realized something. Being an author, just like every other thing I tried, is a business. It’s a small business.

That’s what I’m going to blog about (mostly) in April. Introverts guide to small business according to Marlie Harris. There might be some other posts sprinkled in, but that’s my main focus. So wish me luck!