Posts Tagged ‘#WANA’

Excerpt from Stevie

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I’ve been thinking about this post for awhile. Not for any reason except I say these words to myself often. I realized I hear them all the time, too, but never stopped to really think about what they mean. As a writer, that’s a horrible state to be in. Not thinking about the meaning of words. It’s akin to walking naked into a coffee shop, ordering a hot latte, then proceeding to pour it all over yourself. You realize first that you’re naked, second that you’re in a coffee shop with lots of other folks, and third, it hurts.

It hurts more than normal.

Here are the words in a sentence, then I’ll break down what they mean to me in three #MondayBlogs.

Here it is –

I would, if I could and I should, but I won’t.

Would. Could. Should.

This second week’s word – Could

If you look up the word Could at dictionary.com this is what you see
verb
1. a simple past tense of can.

Simple.

Past tense.

She could lose weight.

He could be a real husband.

They could learn to drive better.

I could be a better mom.

I could write more on my novel.

I could look better.

My mind translates the word into a judgement.

She could lose weight if she drank more water and exercised.

He could be real husband if he quit staying late at work.

They could learn to drive better if they were born in this country.

I could be a better mom if my husband made enough to send our kids to private school.

I could write more on my novel if I gave up seeing my kids and wife.

I could look better, if I took these pills.

We use the word to judge others so we don’t feel so bad. Inside our heads it’s automatically translated into these words.

My insecurities are so big, I’m sure everyone can see them.

If I don’t redirect or misdirect everyone’s attention, I will be exposed for a fraud that I feel I am.

Besides, no matter how bad I am, I’m not as bad as that person.

If I want to feel better, I’ll just go to the local Walmart and watch what walks through the door.

Redirection. Misdirection. All with the use of a simple past tense word.

The truth is I am just as guilty of this as anyone else. I look at my own behavior and I cringe. Then I say, “I could do better…”

There it is again. That word. So, I have to redirect my misdirection.

Instead I say, “I can do better next time.”

“The good news is, we get a choice with every moment.” – Sheli G.

I learned this quote in an amazing workshop last year.

Don’t judge me!
Some of us take a while to learn the lesson!

What are your thoughts?  How do you use the word РCould?

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My first NANOWRIMO I won and was very proud. It kickstarted my desire to write and gave me an amazing vehicle to meet an incredibly diverse set of wonderful friends. Fellow writers, if you will. I learned a lot in the last year.

I learned how to self-publish a book.

I learned how to survive being temporarily homeless.

I learned what’s important and what I’m willing to sacrifice for.

But I didn’t learn a very valuable lesson this last year. Until now.

This last month I learned a hugely valuable lesson that I needed to learn.

I learned how to lose at something you love to do.

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I didn’t finish the 50,000 word challenge this year. I don’t get the t-shirt.

But most of all, I don’t get the bragging rights.

That hurts. It hurts a lot.

You see, I’ve been on this discovery mission, this last year, and I thought I was doing pretty damned good. I have lots of accomplishments to claim. I guess you could say, I got cocky, sort of. I didn’t know I was cocky. But I guess I was.

See, there is a difference between confident and cocky. Confident, you know you can do it. Cocky, you think you can do it.

Confident is having the street cred to back up your demeanor. Cocky is blowing the horn before the last lap is run.

I thought I was confident. It turns out, I was cocky.

NANOWRIMO taught me that to be confident, you have to put in the blood, sweat, and tears.

You have to do it, even when no one is watching. That’s confidence.

So I lost NANOWRIMO, but in the end, I think I am a winner. Because the lesson is now learned. Once you see something, you can’t unsee it.

My confidence is back. I won’t let it get buried, again.

What did you do? Did you win NANO? what lesson did you learn from this last month?